How?

I am brilliant. I am beautiful. I am lost. How will I become found? How can this path possibly lead to the one place I want to be? How? Because I will be found. Because I am beautiful. Because I am brilliant. Because all it takes is one...

Eventually

Her joy watches from a distance, following her movements through the crowd. Her joy waits until she sees, until her attention is undivided. Time has moved slowly, separating them, but now they are together. Now, her life begins...

Two Beats

She knows she's better off like this, but it's what she doesn't know, that's what she's gonna miss.

She used to cry, used to wonder why, now she knows that all paths have a reason, and all pain has a season. She used to pray, she wouldn't push people away, but she knows the thoughts that rage inside her, would burn them up like fire.

She aches for a moment that is real, how much longer must she wait before she finally gets to feel?

She'll cry again, but all paths have to end, she may not know the reason, but this pain's a passing season. 'Cause everyday, her kindred souls still stay - the friends that stand beside her are ice against the fire.

She'll wait, cause she's better off like this, her moment is coming, she'll finally know bliss.

Because

She's smiling because her tomorrow is destined to be better than her yesterday and today is just a moment away from tomorrow...

Outcast Trendsetter

I spent most of my life trying to accomplish a goal I never really wanted to attain. I thought I wanted to fit in with those around me. During my youth, I always seemed to be out of step with everyone, in my thinking, my actions, my style. If I wore a red hat on Monday, it wasn't cool until Wednesday when I wore striped socks - which everyone had on Friday. As a child, I felt like an outcast - watching from the edge of society. And I was right, because I was on the edge, but it wasn't until I was an adult, that I came to appreciate which side of the edge I resided on - I wasn't the outcast. I was the trendsetter. I was the person other people wanted to be around because of my unique viewpoint. I was different and that was good. But they will come to see what I see eventually.... So, get ready to follow, because you never know when I'll display the next trend...

Castles in the Sky

Nothing is ever as simple as it appears on the cover. Even she, who seems to wear her passion like a suit of armor, is deeper than what the surface shows. Sometimes she wishes the pool was shallow. She sees other people content to dance on the ground and wonders why she has to fly among the clouds. She feels more than she says; sees more than she admits; wants more than she acknowledges.

Restless Cynical Black Heart...

She claims it's gone and buried, but that just isn't true. It waits beneath the surface, a nightmare come for you. She tells herself don't worry, the pain can't last for long; but all the time she's knowing that her heart will prove her wrong...

Cause it's restless, and it's cynical, her black heart won't let her feel a thing.
Cause it's restless, and it's cynical, her black heart will knock you out the ring.

She's gonna make you wonder is it worth this kind of fight? Are you in it for lifetime or only for tonight... Cause she'll always gonna be thinking: How is this gonna end? How can she find her true love, when her heart won't let him in...

Cause it's restless, and it's cynical, her black heart won't let her feel a thing.
Cause it's restless, and it's cynical, her black heart will knock you out the ring.

She steels herself for battle, she's been down this road before. Her body yearns for contact, but her heart is wanting more. She tries to see beyond it, she's trying not to feel. But her heart just isn't haven't it - it cries for something real...

Though it's restless, and it's cynical, her black heart just wants to feel something.
Though it's restless, and it's cynical, her black heart just wants to spread its wings.

Though it's restless, and it's cynical, her black heart just wants to feel something.
Though it's restless, and it's cynical, her black heart just wants to spread its wings.

Puzzle Pieces

She’s been through this before so she just watches and waits… They start with the edges, examining each piece, lining her up according to what they think is right. Some people spend forever, just trying to get the outline of her. Others move on to searching for the connecting pieces of her soul. She lets them search, unbothered, because she knows this is where most people quit her. She’s become too difficult, she has too many pieces. She is impossible to solve… Yet there are some, a few brave souls, who struggle through, and put the last piece into place only to find that the image before them is a puzzle itself – piece after piece still waiting to find its match and after a lifetime of work, they are still left to wonder who she is… and she laughs, because she’s spent her lifetime wondering the exact same thing…

Laughter and Lust

It's always about what she craves. Desire burns through her soul and guides her, draws her like Holly Golightly to Tiffany's. When the world rushed past her, it offered Holly a place to rest, to renew. Her joy sprung forth within its walls, wrapping her in its peaceful glow. And yet Holly's sanctuary was constant, always waiting with open arms. Josie's sanctuary is unknown. She follows the heat of her desire waiting to see where it leads, finding comfort in the desire itself until she knows the reasoning behind it... Yet, not knowing does not diminish the joy it brings, does not diminish her lust; it intensifies it until she burns even more, moves even faster, to catch it...

Still Here

As long as she believes that the complications of life are still easier than the simplicity of death, she'll stick around.

Moments in the Woods

Let the moment go...
Don't forget it for a moment, though.
Just remembering you've had an "and",
When you're back to "or",
Makes the "or" mean more
Than it did before.

Into the Woods

Another moment brought to you by the soundtrack of her life:

She wasn't surprised by the deafening silence; being alone most of the time, Josie knew silence well. But it was always harder to hear nothing, after she'd heard so much...

Persona

Is she naming an invisible friend? In a way perhaps... perhaps as she is not naming the unknown-but the unseen. She knows this persona as well as she knows herself, for they are one spirit with two faces. She speaks of this persona as she speaks of herself, but it is time for some distance through familiarity. Today, this persona receives the gift of a name and meaning...

God will increase strength

Josephine Starke has no middle name and always goes by Josie...

Forever

She believes in it more than anything in the world. It's part of what helps her walk through the misery of now. She believes in the joy of forever. She believes in one who will take in sickness seriously because there are so few days in health sometimes. She believes in one who will not care about for richer or for poorer as long as there's enough money for their passions. She knows the passions of the one will not consume her, but include her. The one will wipe her tears away, and allow her to heal, and if she's very lucky she'll be able to do the same for the one who will bring her such comfort. To some forever is a long time... for her, it's just a moment... a beautiful, brilliant, moment that will keep her heart beating for a lifetime.

Winter Wonderland

A white blanket dusts over her as she falls asleep. It wraps her up, keeping her hidden from view while she renews herself. Once removed she will emerge altered, like a butterfly from a cocoon. No longer crawling across the earth searching, she'll fly through the air on delicate, but sturdy, wings-found. Her time is nearer than she once thought. The frost is almost gone...