Never Forgotten

Quite frequently she rails against the world - screaming at the top of her lungs in writing as she claims that few see her and among those who do even fewer understand... Most of the world punches at the walls she's put up and then scream in horror at the sights and sounds when they break through, piercing her heart like a searing poison. But let it never be thought that she has forgotten those who not only see, not only understand, but also embrace. It is the acceptance and love that those few souls provide that give her the strength to walk among the unseeing. For while the world forces her to hide the depths of her own soul, the few are the light that shine into her hiding place, keeping her safe in the dark, reminding her of the way back out. Without those few, her true self would be lost forever.

And so while she has once again crawled into the cellar; while she hides, waiting with her words, sounds, and vices, she is not alone. For the few wait with her, the few wait for her... to re-emerge and be...

Not Again

You'd think she'd know the road signs by now, have figured out she needed to turn around. But somehow she walked straight into the past. Finding the same moment, a joy that couldn't last. And she's back behind the wall, trying to avoid them all. Cause she tried be, to let them see, but they'll never set her free.

There is always more...

Her life is on repeat again. No, that isn't true...

Ever heard the song Stan by Eminem? Part of the track is lifted from Dido's Thank You. She loves both songs, but that is not the point... They represent her life. Dido is the song her life has been. It's been playing on repeat for years-meet people, people like her, people get to know her, people run away, repeat. So she remixed the record - she ran away, and for awhile she thought she heard a different song. Now she realizes the new song is still sampling from the old one. There's a twist though, a new beat, now no one knows who she is - she won't show them. So they just run away because of who they think she is. She is excluded, always excluded, even among those who call her "friend" and she pretends... pretends she doesn't notice, pretends she doesn't care... all the while burying the real her deeper, praying that the flood of tears won't reach her if she stays far beneath the surface. And the deeper she goes, the less chance there is that she'll ever find a new rhythm... or a real life...