Tired of Broken

I see people... lots of people - happy being who they are.

I see people... lots of people - living life like they're the star.

So why can't I? No, I just cry.

I see people... lots of people - with other people feeling joy.

I see people... lots of people - happy girl with happy boy.

So why aren't I? No, I just cry.

Driving

One must live life the way one drives a car. If you spend all of your time looking in the rear view mirror, you will never be prepared for what is ahead. But if you do not look back every once in awhile, you will not know if you have missed something important. Make sure that everyone in the car with you has the same destination, and accept that sometimes, you are just dropping someone off somewhere on your way. Enjoy the ride while they are with you, and wish them well when they depart. Sometimes, there is traffic and sometimes you have to take detours, but accept these as necessary obstacles that make the journey more interesting. I always figure, if I am not moving as fast as I think I should, there is probably a reason I needed to slow down. No matter what happens, eventually you reach your destination, so fill up the tank and take in the scenery.

Light

I often feel lost in the woods-trapped by my own insecurities. I have always felt, however, that I would find my way out and this has kept me from falling to the ground in despair. Lately, my belief that there is a way out has faded. Perhaps it is the illness, the medication to cure it, or just circumstances beyond my control, but I find that the woods seem to spread farther than ever before-the trees more unfamiliar than I tend to recall. Yet, I realize that as I have spent so much time in the woods, I have found a way to survive, sometimes even thrive in them. For even the darkest forest claims light from above. No longer shall I search for answers before me. No longer shall I mourn the loss of what is past. No longer shall I hang my head in fear - let it rise and feel the light that shows me the way...

I'm tired of being broken, from my head down to my heart
I know I need to heal my body, but I'm not sure where to start
Seems like everything's against me, seems like everyone's running away
Seems like anything I thinks important keeps refusing to stay

All I want, all I need is to rest, is to get back to the soul of me
All I want, all I need is to find the rest of who I'm suppose to be

Passing Thoughts

There are still moments when I shutter, when I feel weak, but I am stronger than those moments so they pass. I still wonder if my feelings are invalid, foolish even, but I know it is your actions that are absurd, not my emotions, so i stand tall. And tomorrow will be better than today, which is already better than yesterday. And so it goes... until eventually, you will be but a passing thought and I will live beyond your moments, secure within my own.

Altered

Her point of view is altered now. She sees the same image in a new light and it pains her a little. Not as much as yesterday, but still more than tomorrow. She will continue to move forward, to move on, until her view is not clouded by her tears but enhanced by her joy.

Maybe tomorrow...

I cannot breathe but that's not new
my pain runs deep because of you
and if you cared perhaps you'd see
how deep the sorrow you're causing me
but today you live as if all is fine
this emptiness only consuming my mind
maybe tomorrow I'll breathe again
but I'll never be able to call you my friend

Ignorance is never bliss

The ignorance of others is often the root of my pain. My soul is covered in the scars of other people's lack of knowledge, about me, about themselves, about the world. What they don't know does hurt me, does break me. And though I shall put myself back together again somehow, I will still be scarred. I will still carry the burden of another's ignorance. I will still be alone...